I'm Back in Therapy

First of all - have you heard of Backline? I hadn't, but holy crap have they already made a massive impact on my life.

I only found out about them last month and so far I've been attending their weekly group therapy for musicians and they also managed to match me with a therapist who has been an amazing fit for me.

I know so many musicians who are able to channel their shit into their music.

Going through a breakup?

Write a song about it.

Death in the family?

Write a song about it.

Suffering from crippling depression?

Write a song about it.

You get the idea.

But that's never been me, at least not in a way that I can count on. As a matter of fact, I've never been able to be productive on a schedule. I'm very much the musician that experiences a light bulb moment and suddenly creates something awesome. Shout out to being a vessel.

I'm not sure if I attribute it to getting older or entering all these new chapters of life, heck, maybe it's due to the pandemilovato. I haven't been creating. I've been surviving. And needing a therapist became more & more urgent as time went on as I continued to unravel.

I haven't even been posting much on social media. That's why it was so impressive to me when this brand new therapist of mine immediately called out something I've never been told before - emotional isolation. That's me. For sure.

And maybe I never put two & two together since I tend to be a very open, transparent person. If you ask me a personal question, I'm typically prone to answer. But being open while tending to isolate and "other" myself are not one in the same.

I'm just really excited to be focusing on my mental health again. It feels like I can breathe a little easier knowing that I have someone to guide me through as I unpack the trauma I still haven't dealt with. Whew, the trauma. Oh boy. Here we go.